well... its been a long time since i last blogged. Many things have happened...
Firstly, i am leaving Starhub in one mth's time because they do not want to hire mi on a half day basis. Actually , i wanted to study in the morning and work after that. To keep myself occupied, continue earning an income and to work in a familiar environment. To be honest, I have made quite a number of frenz here n i guess i will miss them when i leave. Esp one of the ' ladies' whom i have shared loads of stuff with n the cranky grp of guys who never fail to crack funny n lame jokes. wahaha.
Secondly, i am stucked in a frenship n luv triangle. wad a 荒谬 life i have. I have to choose btn one of them . But i Want both. Am i too greedy?? But i guess sooner or later, i will have no choice but to leave both, or rather both of them will leave mi. Cos they do not trust mi . Some things which i said to one party will piss the other party off when he or she gets to hear it. And these have already all been spilled out by jj . wahaha. so isnt the choice been made for mi? Without them, my life would probably be back to normal cos i would not be faced with such an idiotic situation frm time to time. All the best to whatever that happens in the future...

Last Friday, i met up with my cousins to celebrate my grandma bday. I dun really like my mother's side family cos i cannot click with them n i find them all veri proud. And guess wad , one of my cousins ( think she's only 16 yrs old) brought her bf , Gary, along. And he really looks a bit like Cao Ge. haha. After that, i got nth better to do n went to Bukit Batok to look for him. I even brought Qing Tang for him. Stood there for around 15 mins n took cab back. Nth interesting.

The next day, mi n Jaymie went back to work. I really didn't mind gng to work. Mainly cos i can pass time here n get paid. I didn't want to stay at hm n brood over the unhappy things. Told Jaymie wad had happened on Friday n she said i was too nice already. I agreed , but in a foolishly stupid manner. I have tried my best, i have been real nice to him n i have done everything for him but he doesnt even appreciate single bit. In short, he doesnt 领情, as quoted... haha. just one song to describe everything. 对你付出了这么多你却没有感动过. haha.
And hey Ah Kow gal, really thanks for the msg. We muz encourage each other n be strong!

Yesterday, i went for the enrolment talk at SIM. Didn't noe a single person there. Was all alone. So sad :( But, i got to noe one veri quiet girl in e end. Before that, ry called mi n scolded mi for being so stupid. After the whole bronchitis incident , i kinda finally woke up. What's done has been done la but I finally noe I meant nth to him at all. Why should i let him do this to mi?
I still want to find out how is he n where is he now as he havent been online for days . But now, when i thot of how selfish he is , i juz think it is not worth it . He might even think the same way n that i'm not as caring as his ex but i 付出 a lot already. Enough is enough. Even if i die becos of him, he won't even bother.
oh wells , he juz came online n is at his workplace so i guess everything' s fine for him already. That's gd. and i will 默默走. Too 夸张 rite? haha. he juz msged mi whether i went to work or not. Cos i blocked him n he could not see mi online! wahahaha.

Last evening, he suddenly called mi juz before i left my office. Really so unexpected. And so i chatted with him happily till i reached my ah ma house. And our conversation ended with him asking mi to call him when i reached home so that he can continue toking to mi. But, i didn't because I was busy and i do not have the mood to do so. Wrong choice. In the morning, i received his sms saying that i was supposed to call him and that he wasn't impt to mi at all. Of course, this is definately not the case. And that sms sounded so familiar. It was sth like wad i sent him in the past when he did not call mi back. haha.
But , why do i feel so guity now when i didnt call him back and when in the past he didnt feel anything at all when he didnt return my call?
Why do i feel that i was mean to him ?
Now, we quarrel till veri jia lat liao. No trust btn us. And i dun think we will be meeting later in the nite anymore. He will definately want a breakup. Its my fault lah, so i have myself to blame .

Many relationship problems have happened to my frenz lately, mi included as well .
Firstly, the person beside mi, Jaymie, haha, has just quarrelled with her beloved fish last nite. And as usual, she appeared offline on msn in the morning and a few moments later, she suddenly came online. And she likes to delete a particular person n when the person toks to her online, she will add him back. Typical Ah Lian, as quoted... haha.
Secondly, its between Ry n JJ. As his bday was approaching, we decided to celebrate for him, giving them a chance to meet up as well. But JJ doesnt want. I know they both still care but pride n the not-so good experiences in their relationship got the better of them. Sigh... Girls r always at a losing end in a r/n. I'm not saying that guys r always on the winning end but they can recover faster esp if there is another person there for them.
As for mi, my r/n is in a horrible mess. I have already stopped myself frm going in deeper but i still could not pull myself out of this whole thing. I know myself that he doesn't treat mi well at all, at least not as good as he treats his ex. But everytime, no matter how angry i was n how much i wanted to breakup with him, i will 心软 whenever i meet him. I know it's foolish for mi to be like that but i cannot control my feelings. Colleagues frm Starhub asked mi wad do i like abt him but i could not answer that qn at all. In the first place, i dunno how in the world i will like him. He smokes and he is not that kind of guy i would like . Maybe its cos 雙魚座女生最容易追. haha. Sometimes, when i thought of how we met, holding his hands n kissing him on the cheek for the first time, i really wished that we have nv met before.
海鸟跟鱼相爱只是一场意外
Analysis: He is juz like a fish who stays in the water all the time expecting pple to show him all the love when he himself is not giving any, at least not to mi.
Joke of the Day: Raymond says he is an average guy because he is mean ( think mathematically) haha... juz find this veri hilarous when he said it...

woo hoo ! finally changed my blog address to something more simple... wanted to do this long time ago but was juz simply too lazy...

Yesterday was a horrible day for mi... but i have managed to pull myself up after stepping out of the bathroom this morning, telling myself to put everything behind and forget about it...
A recap: In the morning, i called up SIM to tell them of my decision of switching to part time course and they accepted my application. During lunch time yesterday, we went to Swensens to have farewell lunch for Yan Zhuang, one of my Starhub colleague. Unexpectly, i received his sms telling mi he missed mi, luv mi n stuff. Of course, i was happy at that moment. Then , back from lunch , he talked to mi on msn with all the sweet stuff once again.
Some of the stuff we chatted about :
Blah Blah Blah~~~~~~ -_-'' says:
would it be too much to ask for u to let me know u love me everyday?
cheryl says:nope...
cheryl says:y suddenly ask mi this?
Blah Blah Blah~~~~~~ -_-'' says:just wanna know
Blah Blah Blah~~~~~~ -_-'' says:cos i feel sometimes i dunno
Blah Blah Blah~~~~~~ -_-'' says:if u lurve me
cheryl says:
wad makes u think so?
cheryl says:
sometimes , i feel the same way too...
cheryl says:
as in whether u really luv mi as well
Blah Blah Blah~~~~~~ -_-'' says:maybe cos i dun get to hold u close to me as often or hear ur voice .
At this point of time, i was thinking why was he suddenly so nice to mi today . Has he done something wrong or he wants a breakup? I find it so damn freaking weird. All these thoughts were gone when i received a call from SIM . I could not be transferred to part time. Disappointment. Really great disappointment in fact. I needed someone to talk to. Called Ry but she was not available. Called him as well. No answer. But he called back immediately. Unexpected again. And so, i told him how upset i was . But he asked mi to think of the way i did things and look at the results. I know i always do things last min. It is my own fault lah. Only have myself to blame. But i juz have this sudden urge to switch to part time after weighing out the pros and cons. Juz that the feeling came too late ma. haha.

I pretended to be happy when i reached home. But nobody cares anyway. I thought about wad happened the whole day . Guess he has a motive for suddenly treating mi so well. He juz wanted mi to go n look for him since it was his off day. Wtf. Why should i go n look for him when he scolded mi crazy when i asked him to come look for mi? And when he knew i was not gng to look for him, his attitude totally changed. We can only tok a few sentences each day if not surely will quarrel. Don't tok better lah. As for my SIM thing, i shall mug like mad everyday since i studying full time and get a First Class Honours. i muz be dreaming again. hahaha...